wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
You also have these baby teenage mutant ninja turtles to protect you.
This is actually such a good tactic for people with serious anxiety problems. Thank you. Really. Omg.
Also immunity cat protects your blog from “if you don’t reblog I’m judging you” posts
appreciate brown eyes more bc the people with brown eyes are grown up forcing to believe fuckin blue and green and grey are beautiful and either detest or get incredibly happy when someone compliments their eye color stop letting this happen
there are people with brown eyes reblogging this and theyre talking about still being sad with their eye color and this is exactly why we need hype about brown eyes
My shrimp is so weird like when I touch it, it changes colors and kinda spasms sometimes idk
like it was kinda pinkish and then it turned red and now its yellow
and it has a stripe that wasn’t there before
MY PET SHRIMP